I've been pretty quiet this past few days because a lot has happened which led me to ponder on marriage and how much work it takes to make one last a lifetime. No, my husband and I are fine, we are still very much together, and were not having marriage problems. Thankfully. We are now married for almost eight years and has been together a lot longer than that. It wasn't easy, especially with two of us in an interracial marriage with different cultures, languages, and living in a place far away from what I call home.
But this post isn't really about hubby and me, its more about a very close friend of mine. I won't be dropping names because I do care a lot about her privacy. My friend and her husband has been married for about six years already but they knew each other a lot longer than that. On the outside, their marriage looked great. They were financially well off and stable, with investments here and there, travel occasionally, no kids though. Then the guy got an offer to work abroad which he accepted. The money was simply hard to resist, and they got into what some people term as 'commuter marriages' with the wife staying back home in the Philippines because she had a career of her own but just visiting the husband a few times per year.
I guess the distance, lack of communication would really wear down a marriage. They just suddenly felt themselves growing further and further apart with their visits getting less and less frequent. My friend refused to accept that their marriage was going downhill so she quit her job, joined her husband, even considered joining a marriage retreat, but for some reason everything failed. She went home, but refusing to give up she went back to her husband, only to find out that some other woman have already taken her place.
Sad, that is really a sad thing. When you say goodbye to something, it always hurts. Especially something as big as marriage. My friends experience have made me resolve to work on our marriage a lot more. Or maybe I'm scared something like that would happen. Marriage, its not really all about happy endings, but more about everything in between, the bonding times, sharing ups and downs, having fights and making up, treating each other with care and respect. The past few years of marriage has taught me this..It's about being together and staying together..
We can never foretell the future, but hubby and I had both made the promise to try to make the marriage work and keep the romance alive. For our daughter, and more so for ourselves and our promise.